You can never be young and wise. It takes a lot of dumb decisions and mishaps to become wise. I know, you can pretend to be wise, and spout out deep quotes from famous books by great authors just by taking a quick peek at someone’s Cliffnotes. You can pretend to be fun, by hanging out with people who you think are the epitome of cool even if you feel left out just because your Instagram page wouldn’t be so boring. You can pretend to be strong when all you want is to put your armour down just for one moment. You can pretend to have it all under control by making sure other people never find out about your insecurities, or being uptight. But what no one ever tells you is that even if everyone else believes your pretense, there is no mask you can put on that can fool yourself. You can rant out all the lies day-in and day-out but that doesn’t make it any more convincing to yourself than spilling green paint and saying it’s blood. I am not a wise person. I am young, and to be wise, well, you need to make dumb decisions, but what I’ve realized is that, even though I thought I was making decisions for my own life, there was always someone else’s input to it. I always get carried away by what could be. I didn’t have the conviction to make sure that I see all the decisions I’ve taken through.
But that is going to change. I am taking control of my life back. I don’t want to ride on the backs of everyone else. I want to do something on my own.
I know it sounds crazy and a lot more scary than it is supposed to be. But I’ll figure it out.
