You seem averse to the idea of being un-busy and not having to worry about catching up with deadlines, finishing off a book, or staying up to date with a tv series. Whatever it is it can wait. You don’t need to rush every single aspect of your life just so you can fill in the hours with mindless consumption of dumb shit. Someday this junk will make you lose your spark. That spark that you have been trying to revive for the past few years and still trying to. But it comes at a cost.
People may not understand what you’re going through. You can’t even explain what’s going on to them because you have no clarity on that matter yourself. So you sit there, hoping against hope that some inspiration will find your way, some way to break free of the shackles of your creativity and let out feelings that you’ve buried deep for so long. The pain will always be there.
Pain is quite fickle. It will never let you forget about its existence. And even though everything is going absolutely well on the outside, don’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side once in a while. That’s what makes you human. That’s what connects you to this world. Social media might have us to be self-centered people but nothing can change our DNA that is wired to be social. The most anti-social person will have something to keep him sane. Something that others may not understand, but in his mind that’s perfectly rational.
