The death of a parent leaves a very deep void in you which you can never fill up. Not clothes, not houses, not even other people.
When I lost my dad, I beat myself up thinking of all the reasons why we couldn’t see any signs of illness. Should I have been more careful in noticing? Did he show any signs that I missed? and the question spiral kept going on and on and on.
In the movie Good Will Hunting, I identified a lot with Matt Damon’s character. The fear of abandonment and avoidance of commitment was a huge part of me that I didn’t flaunt. Although I haven’t been physically abused like he was or something, somehow he struck a chord with me
In one of the most breathtakingly beautiful and human scenes, Matt Damon visits Robin Williams, who is his therapist. This is when Matt reveals that he was abused by his foster father. After a while, Robin Williams says the words “It’s not your fault”. However, Matt tries to feign indifference. Robin repeats the words again. And again. And he repeats them until, Matt completely breaks down, sobbing like a five-year-old kid.
Until I watched the movie, I didn’t know how much I wanted to hear those words. It would have been nice to have someone earlier in my life to tell those words to me.
Now I make sure if anyone is questioning themselves over the reaction of others and going down that road, I keep reminding them until I don’t need to, “It’s not your fault.”
